Broke my arm... Again.

So I broke my arm again. Of course I was drunk, and of course I had my long board with me. But it still wasn’t my fault. It never is.
I met this new gal fresh off the boat from Fort Mac. She was a purple haired party animal that had yet to see the glory of a fire show at trout. If you have never seen a fire jam, go. It's awesome.
I decided to drag her along to a burn and show her a fun time. We picked up a 15 pack of beer, her friend Tom, two skateboards, her bike, and a pair of dirty underwear from my place for her to wear. She wasn’t wearing any and thought it was indecent to be flashing everyone she road past while riding her BMX. Considerate, I thought.
We hit up the fire jam and had a good time, drain the beer, grab some more, and I only light my self on fire twice. We begin to wander to her place out on the edge of East Van, which is mostly down hill so we ride our skates, and her on her bike. I’m carving up the pavement like a mad man. Which funnily enough looks like a drunk guy swerving back and forth across the road. Once we were about 6 blocks away my luck takes a turn for the worst, which it normally does. I lean too far forward and face plant into the pavement at speed. Jas’ (my new purple haired friend) was right behind me on her bike. Seeing my fall from grace she realizes she cannot stop before she hits me. So she rides up my long board and over top of my head. She bails and scrapes her leg.
I lay around for a few second attempting to gather the few thoughts that I still had left, chief among them being, ouch. Once I realized what had happened I inspected my self for damage. Nothing to serious. A tad bit concussed, a little bit of road rash, and my wrist was hurting a bit more than before. Having just gotten it out of a cast I was not eager to put it back into one. I previously broke it on what the thrashers(crazy kids who board parkades downtown and fight security guards) quaintly call the death spiral. It is a 4 level parkade that spirals down to ground level. You have to hit it on a long board going at about 30kmph and drift sideways the whole way down. So of course I tried it. And failed.
We gather our selves up off the road and decide to finish boarding the rest of the way home despite the fact that I am mildly concussed and Jas is injured. But we’re drunk, so who cares? I only make it another block before I bail again hitting my head on the ground in EXACTLY the same place. So now I’m really concussed. Luckily Jas’ has enough sense to not ride over my head this time.
Yet again, I pick my self up off the pavement and climb back on my board. Well aware this is an idiotic idea: to get back on the very thing that has mildly concussed and really concussed me within 5 mins. But I’m drunk, so who cares?
I manage to make it to her place with out horribly maiming my self and they pump me full of T3’s and multiple bottles of wine. I hang out for a bit and everyone starts to drop off. Its getting late and I can tell they expect me to crash. Having an honorary doctorate in self diagnosis from all the injuries I have sustained over my brief existence on this planet, I realize I should not be going to sleep. Sleeping with a concussion can potentially equal a coma, and I just wasn’t down with the idea of going into a coma. So I decided to go home.
Home for me at the time was about 40 blocks away, but it was a nice warm summer night, so I decided to do it. It would keep my awake and gave me something to do. So I plugged my self into my tunes and trekked across the city. I made a point of carrying my long board and not riding it, being responsible for once. I get about three quarters the way home and as I’m crossing Kingsway, a car comes out of no where. No headlights no nothing. I of course am standing in the middle of the curb side lane, which happens to be the very same lane said car is cruising down. The inevitable happens and I am smoked. I roll over the hood and jam my wrist into the pavement, catching most of my weight, then smash my face into the ground in EXACTLY the same place AGAIN! So what does this car do when it has run over a pedestrian? It fucking drives away. Not only that, but I am not wearing my glasses, its dark and NO ONE is around. So I got no license plate and there were no witnesses.
Again I make use of my honorary doctorate to determine I am extremely concussed, my leg is injured pretty bad and my wrist is more than likely broken. I was probably ten blocks away from home at the time and felt that what I really needed was a rest. I decide to forgo the hospital visit and wander in tomorrow. So I go home, call work and tell them I just got hit by a car, and pass out. I’m well aware I should not have done this, but I did, and I didn’t go into a coma. Yay team!
I spent three days in bed before going to the hospital. They injected me with all kinds of radioactive materials and casted my arm up rather nicely. I only spent a week in that cast. How I got it off is a story for another time though.